I sailed into Sydney harbor from the 18th century aboard the HMS Bounty. After hanging around Sydney-side, I mounted my steed, pedaling the long haul north on endless roads under a big sky. I rolled through scrub and savannah, swerving around dead roos sleeping on the roadside. After neglecting to heed the warning sign, I was forced to run for my life, pursued by a bloodthirsty pack of koalas. Onwards, I crossed the Tropic of Capricorn, zipped past Townsville, explored the bush around Cardwell and finally reached Cairns. But stayed beyond up at Trinity Beach. Just in time for Show Day. Then I hopped aboard the big silver bird, rounding the planet to Europe. I was dropped from 100 meters into Rheinland, Germany. South to cut the corner of Switzerland, then lugging up the arduous climb to Col de Bussang. Then through rainy pre-Sarko France and post-Manneken Pis Belgium. Finally The Netherlands – land of stroopwafel, drop and vla. Plus, there’s a celebrity-related surprise just bound to elicit a yawn. The musical accompaniment is Power and the Passion by Midnight Oil, and Triggers by April March.